Lately, I’ve been reflecting on childhood experiences. In my line of work, we often focus on ACEs—Adverse Childhood Experiences. But recently, my mind has been pulled toward the opposite: the positive ones.
As parents, we spend so much time and energy trying to give our kids the best—the best toys, the best activities, the best vacations. We book their schedules with lessons, plan Pinterest-worthy holidays, and work hard to create magical moments. But I keep wondering… are these really the moments our kids will remember? Are these the things that will stick with them and bring joy years from now?
“Those things you learn without joy you will forget easily.”
— Finnish Saying
When I think back on my own childhood, the memories that warm my heart aren’t the big, shiny events. They’re the small, everyday moments:
Maybe it’s just me looking through rose-colored glasses—but I needed to know if others felt the same. So, I asked.
I put a simple question on Facebook:
“What’s a positive childhood memory that stands out to you?”
Here are the responses—feel free to share your own.
I didn’t give context, just let people share freely. And the answers? Exactly what I hoped for.
People remembered:
No one mentioned expensive gifts or elaborate vacations. It was the simple, joyful, shared moments that stood out.
For even more perspective, I asked my own 17-year-old. I thought she’d say her favorite memory was something like the surprise trip to Chicago to see Hamilton—something we worked so hard to plan. Nope.
Her answer?
“Sitting in the backyard listening to the crows with Nono.”
When I asked what came to mind first when she thought about childhood, she said:
“The blue of my bedroom walls.”
And her favorite Christmas gift? Not Hamilton. Not the big stuff. A $12 Digimon toy I threw in as a stocking stuffer.
It confirmed what I’ve been feeling deep down:
We’re overthinking this.
Yes, the big events are fun, but they’re not the foundation. They aren’t the core memories our kids carry. It’s the ordinary, unplanned moments that matter most:
So instead of chasing perfection, let’s focus on presence. Let’s make space for simple joys—because those are the memories that last.
Think back on your own positive childhood experiences. Now ask yourself:
How can I create those same simple, joyful moments for my child?
The best part? These moments are free—or pretty close to it. And they’re exactly what our kids need.
Let’s stop making parenting harder than it needs to be.
Let’s nurture joy.
Let’s make space for positive childhood experiences.
So, what’s one positive memory you hold onto?
And how can you help create something similar for your child today?